He Bought Ad Space at The Onion
Hipster guy #1: I'm gonna be poor for a while.Hipster guy #2: Forever.Hipster guy #1: Forever, yeah.–Chinatown Bus, Holland Tunnel
View ArticleCan You Get Wednesday One-Liners from a Toilet Seat?
Girl swimming in the Hudson River: I'm afraid if I take a pee, I'll get a venereal disease!–Hudson River & 26th StOverheard by: Nellie(student #1 loudly hacks up a lung, while everyone else turns...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Go Directly to My Thighs
Professor, seriously: Were you involved in the jelly bean incident?–Physics Hallway, Trinity SchoolOverheard by: SienaCSR: Stale peeps are excellent! Now, that is one finely-aged peep.–Hudson &...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Only a Mother Could Love
Woman to another: I mean, about the thing… he is ugly but at least he get it up!–Abingdon Square ParkMan to friend: Ugly people aren't people!–10th St & 5th AveSuit: Yeah, I couldn't deal with the...
View ArticleShall We Consult Our Biology Textbooks?
Guy, looking at historic buildings: This is the kind of thing they should have taught us in school.Girl: Yeah, there's a lot of things that schools didn't teach us.Guy: I think a bug just flew into my...
View ArticleKids Say the Darndest Wednesday One-Liners
Seven-year-old white boy in huge afro wig, screaming: Peace out, smokers! Peace out, jazz singers! Now, who wants my autograph?–Playground, Houston St, SohoLittle boy with broken arm: I just won eight...
View ArticleYou Look Great! Have You Been Wednesday-One-Linering?
Old obese Italian guy sharing pizza and a pitcher of beer with old obese Italian friend: Yeah, so I walk 3-4 miles 5 times a week, and I eat a lot of salad.–Carmine St.Fat running lady to friend,...
View ArticleNight-Night, Wednesday-One-Liner Tight!
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.–Strawberry's, Queens Centre MallOverheard by: i like that option…Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've...
View ArticleIs Daddy Just Visiting?
Mom to little girl playing Monopoly: You're not in jail, you're just visiting.Little girl: Why would I want to visit jail?Mom: I don't know, that's just the way the board is.–Hudson River Park
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Say a Mouthful
Loud woman on cell: I suck your dick and we can't be Facebook friends?–20th St & 6th AveGuy to buddies in the passing Skyfari car: Yo, that building over there… That's the building where I got that...
View ArticleTour De Wednesday One-Liners
Fat tourist: Exactly, like, I know Disney trivia, but of course I don't know general trivia. –Ellis Island Overheard by: Cat Female tourist with Irish accent, reading leaflet: Jaysas lads, it only took...
View ArticleHooked on Wednesday One-Liners Worked for Me!
Tween girl: No, it's "Yiddish"! "Yiddish," not "ribbit." –Penn Station Overheard by: ragnvaeig 20-something girl to older friend: No, no… "ghetto" is just slang–it's not a real word. –PATH Train Guy on...
View ArticleWanna Buy a Bridge, Wednesday One-Liners?
10-year-old tourist kid: Mom, is Brooklyn famous for its graffiti? –Coney Island-bound D train Overheard by: BB White guy, pointing: Over there in Brooklyn three-year-olds just, like, walk around!...
View ArticleRead My Lips, Wednesday One-Liners
Girl on cell: No I'm not bringing anything, this is not a date, it's 10 o'clock on a Friday night. I'm bringing my vagina, that's what I'm bringing. –Court St & 2nd Place Girl on cell: I mean,...
View ArticleThey Counted Last Year During That Scavenger Hunt
Drunk girl sitting on steps: The Hudson is better then the East River right? Guy: What? Drunk girl: Yeah, it definitely is… There's less dead bodies in it. –Hudson River Boat Basin
View ArticleNight-Night, Wednesday-One-Liner Tight!
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him. –Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall Overheard by: i like that option… Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and...
View ArticleNight-Night, Wednesday-One-Liner Tight!
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him. –Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall Overheard by: i like that option… Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and...
View ArticleIs Daddy Just Visiting?
Mom to little girl playing Monopoly: You're not in jail, you're just visiting.Little girl: Why would I want to visit jail?Mom: I don't know, that's just the way the board is. –Hudson River Park
View ArticleTour De Wednesday One-Liners
Fat tourist: Exactly, like, I know Disney trivia, but of course I don't know general trivia. –Ellis Island Overheard by: Cat Female tourist with Irish accent, reading leaflet: Jaysas lads, it only took...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Only a Mother Could Love
Woman to another: I mean, about the thing… he is ugly but at least he get it up! –Abingdon Square Park Man to friend: Ugly people aren't people! –10th St & 5th Ave Suit: Yeah, I couldn't deal with...
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